Wednesday, May 13, 2009

And just like that....he was gone

I had Moochie put down yesterday around noon.

He was eating less and less and his activity level was going down too. When he started having trouble with his bowel movements I decided it was time. I called the vet on Monday and made the appointment for Tuesday. I can’t think of a more traumatic, gut wrenching decision than to make that phone call to the vet. On top of that, I’m still pretty sick, running a fever off and on, feeling light headed and basically awful. At work I have been getting ready to have board orientation meetings that start tomorrow so have not been able to take any time off. On Monday afternoon, I told my boss that I would have to be out on Tuesday morning to put my cat down. He paused and said “are the board materials going to get done in time?”

I lost it. I told him that of course everything would get done in time (doesn’t it always!!). Then, I said “Just for the record, I feel awful and if it wasn’t for the board coming to town I would be home in bed. I know it’s not convenient for you for me to be sick and to have a terminally ill pet but that is my life right now and you are just going to have to accept it.” He then mumbled something about getting me some help and I told him everything was taken care of (as usual).

I went home from work on Monday to find Moochie chipper and following me around the house. I let him outside and he went and had a lie down in my front yard. He ate well that night and Tuesday morning was also acting better then he had in a number of days. I sat on the bed and he walked over to me rubbing up against me and I started crying. “Moochie” I said “what are you doing??” “I’m getting dressed to take you to be put down and you’re acting like your feeling better?” I opened the crate and he just walked right in. At this point I have to disassociate myself from the task at hand and just drive to the vets.

My vet squeezed me in between surgeries yesterday. He was very sweet and when I mentioned that Moochie was acting better and eating more, the vet assured me that he felt it was the right time. Yes, maybe Moochie could have gone on for a few more weeks, but, he said most people wait until they can see visible signs of suffering in their pet and by that time, the pet is REALLY suffering since they do their best to mask their pain. After it was over, the vet took my hand and moved it around Moochie’s abdomen where I did indeed feel the very large tumor. I then used their restroom where I splashed water on my face, blew my nose and drove to work.

Truly a miserable day.


las794 said...

How awful for you. I'm so sorry about Moochie. (And your boss is no winner, either.)

Lynne at Hasty Brook said...

I am so very sorry for the loss of your friend Moochie. I don't believe I would have been able to function at work. I hope you can at least rest easier knowing that You did right by Moochie.


Ramblings of a Villas Girl said...

Christine, Your boss is a jerk. Tell him I said so. Spit in his eye for me too. Good for you that you said something to him. There are more important things in life then board meetings. Namely you. Take care of yourself. Take a day off to relax and get better.

So sorry about Moochie, but you done good by him. Maybe he knew and was just letting you know that it was okay and he enjoyed his life. I don't know. I would feel the same and wonder if I was making the right decision. Your vet sounds like a wise great person.

Take care of yourself. Lisa

KGMom said...

Oh Christine--so so sorry.
You know, the fact that Moochie went right into the crate was his way of saying "I'm ready too". He was saying goodbye, giving you a little extra love to carry you through.
My first cat did a similar thing--as we rode to the vet's, she began purring like crazy. Just as lovable as could be. And afterwards, I thought--she was giving me a bit of extra love to store up for the days ahead.
As for your boss--first, I am glad you let him have it. But, sometimes people are very wrapped up in their own worlds, and don't see what's right next to them. I am sure he appreciates, and relies on you. The board meeting was on his mind--nothing else.
And get better yourself. Tea, rest, sleep.

Dog_geek said...

Oh, I'm so sorry about Moochie! What a hard week for you - and I can't believe that your boss was such an insensitive jerk. Some people just don't get it - I'm sure he was just so wrapped up in his own pressures that he never stopped to think.

Try to take care of yourself and get some rest, get over your illness. I think Moochie's last gift to you was for you to be able to remember him the way he really was, rather than to always have to remember him weak and suffering.

Kaz's Cats said...

We're so sorry that your little friend Moochie was so sick and had to be helped to the Rainbow Bridge. You looked after him very well, especially in his last weeks. Sorry that you don't get the support that you should at work. We honour your for caring for your kitties so well,


Gypsy & Tasha

NCmountainwoman said...

Oh, I am so sorry about Moochie. Only pet lovers know what you have gone through. I'm glad you had the courage to do the right thing for dear Moochie.

Tamar Orvell said...

I got here via Time Goes By. I have been in your situation years ago. And it remains on the short list of horrible times in my life. Being responsible for a sentient being's welfare, including mercy killing, remains an awful reminder of our responsibility to do everything reasonable to help an animal. Thanks for keeping this blog. Your jerky boss is a pitiful creature. Good to tell him off yet as a release for you and not as a means of changing him.

Mary said...

You just made me cry here at the office. Oh, Christine, I'm so sorry... I had the same thing happen to me once. Making that phone call is the worst thing on earth. Ralphie (gray Tabby) purred on my lap all the way to the vet...

Mary said...

And yes, your Boss could use a little Charm Schooling.